Feeling thankful

Wow!

What an amazing end to 2014. We have been given so much these past couple of months I don't even know where to begin. My parents in law moved house so were getting rid of some things so we have inherited a new washing machine and a tumble drier!

 Ok, so to some people these may not sound that exciting - but to us (ok, me) it is wonderful! Our own washing machine is truly rubbish and never makes the washing smell fresh. Plus with five of us and it being winter our entire house is constantly looking like a laundry which isn't ideal when the house isn't huge and as I say, there are five of us (one of us a 2yr old with big toys) so it's pretty busy anyway.

Plus my lovely lovely parents have given us some money to buy a new car. This is much needed as although our current 14yr old car is still going, it is very much on it's last legs (or wheels as it were!). The suspension has totally gone and to say it's an uncomfortable ride is an understatement. Also, with my dad being in his 80s we really felt the next car we got was a 7 seater so that if there comes a time that he can no longer drive (mum doesn't drive), it really would be a help if we had enough space to fit them both in as well as us all.

So that is our current aim. To find a car for a good price that will last us til at least the big two grow up enough to make their own way... which actually doesn't feel like it will be that long! Eeek! N is now 12, C is 9 and F is 2yrs9mths. It's all going so quickly.

We've had a small blip with N recently. She's had a friend who wasn't really very nice to her which seemed to be making her constantly angry, especially towards C. A couple of weeks ago he was really not kind to her at all and she has decided not to see him or speak to him any more. I think it's such a brave brave thing for her to have decided as this is someone she has known for several years and been very close to for the past year. I do feel she needed to do this for herself. He seemed to be making her not feel good about herself and that's not a good thing. I do feel sorry for this boy though as I feel he's a bit lost somehow as he feels he needs to threaten his friends if they don't do as he says.

Anyway, since she has stopped seeing him we seem to have our lovely little girl back. She's been so much happier and content. No anger towards her brother and eagerly wanting to do things with us again rather than wanting to just sit in doors or be out with this "friend". She suffers with anxiety at times so it could be partly that she is off of school for the Christmas holidays, but I feel it is more than that - I asked how she felt about not seeing him and she said that although she's a bit sad, she also feels free and happier. It's sad that she continued to see him regularly even though he made her feel that way... but it's also great of her to give their friendship a really good go before she walked away. I love that girl so much.My children really do mean the world to me.

DREAMS FOR 2015

We went to our local wildlife park today for the first time in ages. We all had such a lovely time despite the cold grey day. On the way there we talked about our hopes for this years. We agreed to do more family things and adventures which I'm really looking forward to. I'm going to compile a list (oh how I love lists!) of things we must do this year so watch this space for thing we want to tick off our list.

I've been reading a book called "Feel the Fear and Do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers that my lovely friend K lent me. It's such a fascinating book and makes total sense. Not sure how much it is going to work yet but it's already got me thinking about how I don't make the most of other areas of my life. Right now it's the house and the children and not much else. The book encourages you to remember the other parts of your life too and to give 100% to everything you do... which to be honest, I find really hard. I find I flit between jobs and don't give 100% to anything I do right now whether it be  time spent with the children, household jobs, work or anything else for that matter (not that I have much time for anything else which is part of the problem).

So my dreams for 2015 include being there 100% for the children but also making time for other things in my life, even if only for an hour a day... but during that hour I will put 100% into it. I guess it's like mindfulness (another subject I would like to read up on).

Here's to a wonderful 2015!

Loving...

Loving that my baby boy is learning so much every day. He's nearly 15 months now and understands so much. This past week he's been understanding that it's not kind to bite other people and he now takes himself off to have a "think" at the back door and when he's ready he returns to give his victim a kiss to say sorry. His bites are getting less frequent to so something somewhere is sinking on.

Also loving the fact that just today we were looking at his book together and he began copying the animal sounds when we got to each page. :-) :-)

I also love how he's learnt how to go and collect his step if he needs to be that tiny bit taller!! :-) 

I love how close my three children are these days.

I'm just loving being a mama right now!!! :-) 

Too much shouting!

So, dh and I have been in huge discussions this evening... And yesterday evening too. We've been discussing our family and all that's wrong with it right now. The main thing is the shouting. We all shout and its really getting me down right now.

Before the children got to 2 (ish) and 4 (ish) dh and I never shouted. We never argued with each other.... Rarely even had heated conversations. So what changed? The children started having arguments, we moved areas so dh was commuting a long distance so he was more tired and grumpy and I was (at the time) working 3 days a week and studying for two and exhausted. So with all that going on we got grumpy and shouty... and so did the children.

You see, children learn by example. So they were learning that if they weren't happy with something then you shout. The more they shouted, the more we shouted.... And so it had continued.

But now the children are nearly 8 and 10 and the shouting is getting louder and more ferocious. So something needs to be done. And it needs to be done now.

So dh and I have just made a pact that we will try to parent more gently and to try and not shout any more. Easier said than done after all these years.... But we can only try.