I can feel my blood boiling. I'm ready to explode. Why do my family feel it is OK to leave their shoes on the lounge rug? Shoes shouldn't even BE in the lounge! Never mind on the rug!! A beer bottle left tucked down beside the arm chair. A pile of drawings spread across the sofa. Crumbs. Spills. Muddy footprints.
I spent nearly 2 hours this morning blitzing the kitchen. I was in "Perfectionist" mode and couldn't bare to just quickly tidy it up - it had to be all or nothing. So it was all today (when normally it is nothing). I removed all the papers from the kitchen worktop, scrubbed the hob, cleaned the sink, vacuumed the floor, cleared the table (which is always covered in papers, drawings, craft bits and bobs, baby bibs etc), cleaned it, wiped down the chairs...phew! It's all done and clean.
Now I have to write up a rota so my family help me to keep it that way.
I sometimes feel that I am rather controlling with my perfectionism. I can't bear to feel like I'm losing control. I can't bear the mess made by others - even my dear dear family. But when I begin to feel like I'm losing control I start to feel stressed...and that is not a good place to be. I have been there before and I have never felt so low...I don't intend to feel like that this time...I will make my lists and rotas and keep control...somehow...hopefully.